First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!  Can you believe another year has passed by?  This is one year that I am more than happy to put behind me:)  So, *raise your glass* here is to a bright, beautiful, full of love and adventure NEW YEAR - cheers everyone!  Now, on with my post . . . . .

After my youngest daughter made a list of things she wanted to do today, daddy decided to help her out with one thing on her list.  About a year and a half ago when I was out of town, the girls had a silly string fight with dad in the backyard.  It was a giant hit and ever since then the girls have talked about doing it again.  After seeing it on Monet’s list, dad decided it was time for another silly string adventure so off to the park we went.  After blowing a kiss goodbye to our Christmas tree as we left it at the recycling plant (it was a really good tree), we headed for the perfect area for the revenge of the silly string.  The girls giggled and tried their best to get daddy who occasionally let them spray him.  And, of course our adventure could not be complete without a tantrum from Monet (she is a pro).  Pictures shown above are from our silliest silly string adventure.  (Template is from Shabby Miss Jenn Designs)

Then, after tracking down my brother in Facebook, I was finally able to see some pictures of my two nieces.  He is really good at updating the world with photos, just not his sister LOL.  Anyways, I have been learning some new Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator tricks these past two weeks and I came across a really cool tutorial by Taylor Made Designs.  I just LOVE this layout.  I decided to give it a try and although my layout is not nearly as good as her original, I think it looks cute and I just love the adorable smile on that cute little face.

The credits for the above layout are as follows:

Mosaic Layout Tutorial - Taylor Made Designs (Oscraps)
Mosaic Paper Block Template V.1 - Emily Merritt (We are Storytellers)
Different Strokes Brushes - Fei Fei Stuff (Oscraps) - LOVE THIS ONE!!!
Tinting Actions - Taylor Made Designs (Oscraps) - This is FREE so be sure & grab it
Lifted Wings 01 - Katie Pertiet (Designer Digitals)

Again, I find myself trying to revive my blog.  Time always seems to slip by so fast and now it is Christmas time.  So, just what have I been doing?  I have been working and going to school.  Yep, I decided that it was time to pursue my degree so off to school I went.  My first semester was lots of work but thanks to the support of my family I received an “A” in all three classes I took (Art 101, Comm 101 & EDU 234) - yipppppeeeee!!!!!!!!  My very first ever 4.0 GPA.  WOWSERS!!  I am proud :)  Anyways, you can take a peek at an award I received in my Art 101 class HERE.  Below is my favorite drawing from my art class.  I just loved that class.

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My girl friend Deanna with her youngest daughter at the kindergarten graduation in May of 2007.

After my brief encounter with Mary Beth and spilling the beans to a dental assistant both complete strangers, it gave me the strength to tell others (people that actually knew me).  I realized that I have lots of great friends who could help me through.  I had a great need to tell others and gain their support.  Why should I be the one who is ashamed?  I did not have the affair.

I took a chance and decided to contact my friend Deanna.  Michael had originally met Deanna first.  Our children go to the same Catholic private school and her youngest daughter is in the same class as Monet.  Michael would drop off our children at school and since both our daughters were friends, it was only natural that Deanna and Michael would meet.

I was reluctant to trust Deanna with my story because I was paranoid that perhaps Deanna and Michael were, or had been more than friends.  It was just the mind set I was in and it was completely wrong.  Deanna is in a divorced situation because her ex-spouse was unfaithful to her.  She battled numerous demons as she struggled through her healing process.  As I divulged my pain to her, I was blown away with her love and compassion.  I felt loved and accepted and I needed that.  After talking with Deanna I knew that she would rather die twice before causing another woman the kind of horrible pain that infidelity causes.  She was a wealth of information, fun to talk to and incredibly supportive.  At that point I realized the importance of girl friends.  I had not kept in contact with past friends and during my marriage to Michael, I had neglected to grow new ones.  Depression and trying to run our own business had a lot to do with my lack of interest in cultivating new friendships.  After talking with Deanna and getting to know her better, I felt sad that I had not had meaningful friendships sooner.  It was a breath of fresh air.  And together with my good friend Janice, they both helped to lift me up and carry me through the dark ugly rivers of infidelity.  I feel so blessed to have both of these special ladies in my life.  I only wish that I wasn’t so out of practice at being a friend in return.  I appreciate their patience, love and understanding while I try to work through my emotions.

In early November 2007, less than two weeks after my discovery of Nikki, I found my head lying in the lap of a gorgeous new dentist. To my surprise, my regular dentist had sold his business and moved to San Diego. I didn’t mind. The new dentist was young with dark hair and beautiful kind eyes. His cologne smelled good and I enjoyed having my face touched by a good looking man.

Several months prior, I had to have a root canal on an upper right side tooth. The root canal went bad and the tooth shattered. Still numb, the dental assistant shoved gauze into my mouth and handed me a card with the name and number of the recommended oral surgeon. She told me to hurry and go there now before I started to get feeling back because the tooth was not closed up. So, with drool dripping from the gauze, I rushed over there only to discover that I had to be knocked out so they could dig out the tooth. Since the entire experience had now wiped out my dental insurance maximum allowed for the entire year, I did not have the money that it would cost to get an implant. I would now have to wait until the following year (2008) when I had more money for major dental work and get a bridge. This would mean that I would remain toothless for at least 5 months. The missing tooth made me feel bad about myself and I hated that Michael used it to make fun of me calling me toothless with a hillbilly accent every time I would smile. After all, it was because I was trying to save our family an unnecessary expense that I had agreed to go toothless for the 5 months. That didn’t seem to impress Michael. He took the jab every chance he got and I very quickly lost my smile all together.

After the discovery of Nikki, I made the decision that it was no longer necessary to wait just two months for my insurance to save us $600. It still would have been an expense, but it would have been cheaper for me to wait until 2008 to have the work done. But, if Michael were to leave, why should I be stuck with the bill when I was only trying to save us money. At this point, saving money didn’t matter anymore. Survival mode had set in and I needed to feel good about myself and that meant getting the dental work done so I could smile again.

Once the temporary bridge was put into place, the dental assistant gave me the mirror so I could see my new smile. It was too much. I broke down and cried. As I spilled my entire story of my husband’s infidelity, she held my hand just as Mary Beth had done when I told her my story. She listened with compassion and when I was done, she gave me a hug. Then, after she smoothed the temporary bridge down for me she proceeded to paint the bridge to match the color of my other teeth. She explained that they normally do not do this unless it is one of the front teeth that show when you are talking. But she wanted to make sure that I had a pretty smile again.

When I went home, I did not tell Michael. I waited until two weeks later when he finally noticed that I no longer had a toothless smile.

In the early morning hour of 3:30 a.m. on May 22, 2008, I awoke to gentle tapping on my arm. It was my 7 year old daughter Monet. Half awake, I asked her what was wrong. “Mommy, can I use your bathroom because I just threw up in mine and it is kind of a mess”. Well, that got my attention and I quickly arose to her aide.

Monet had already returned to bed as I stood in shock at the hallway bathroom door. My eyes were tearing from the fumes. I was baffled at the mess. Not only did it look like someone had taken a bucket of oatmeal and scrambled eggs and just thrown it at the side of the toilet, the bathtub and the walls, BUT there was also a very large puddle of a thick black substance with what looked liked Monet’s pajama bottoms in the middle of it. The stench was gagging and I knew I was in danger of loosing whatever was left in my stomach undigested from the night before. How could such a tiny girl do all of this? Just where does one begin to clean up a mess like that? Thank goodness we had just bought a large bag of soft plush cotton terry towels from Costco – lol. After all they could be disposable if needed. It took nearly and hour and a half to clean up the mess and another 3 days to get rid of the smell from the bleach after I dowsed the bathroom.

When you are the parent of a challenging child, unusual types of events are the norm. You would think that I would be use to the high adventure, but it always catches me by surprise. I can’t go on with my story without making mention of the challenges that both Michael and I have faced with our youngest child, Monet (or Mo-Monster the nickname we have lovingly given her). She is strong willed, very determined and does not let anything stand in her way. When she throws a tantrum while driving in the car she has been known to throw things at the driver from the back seat and kick the seat in front of her. She is a challenge and quite often she is exhausting. At the same time she is beautiful, witty, charming and oh so cute. She can make you laugh until you pee your pants and in a split second she can make you cry. As Michael and I try to tame her, we have been caught in conflict over just how she should be disciplined. Dealing with Monet has caused added stress in our marriage.  But, ironically enough, Monet is the reason (or the trigger) for the good that came in the months that followed the confirmation day.

Adorable Frame Credit: Shabby Miss Jenn Designs (Flower Stand)

On October 27, 2007, the day after the “confrontation” discussion with Michael my girlfriend Janice wanted to introduce me to a friend who had recently been through a divorce due to infidelity. So we went to lunch at Chili’s Restaurant where I tried to sip some tortilla soup in between bursts of sobs. I was still in a state of shock and disbelief. What was going to happen to me? Mary Beth who I had just met sat across from me and held both of my hands as I cried my eyes out. She told me I was not alone and gave me some good advice. Mary Beth told me the hard cold realities that infidelity is so common that a judge just does not care. Of course first on the list was find a good attorney because I was going to need one. Second she told me to put together a CD with empowering songs on it like Christina Aguilera’s Fighter song. This song became a mainstay with me. Listening to it makes me feel like I can do anything. Third on the list was stash the cash baby! For any woman out there this is great advice. You just never know when you are going to find yourself in a situation when you wake up one day and find out your husband is not where he says he has been. Mary Beth’s suggestion was to take an extra $5.00 to $20.00 every time I would go to the grocery store or any store to purchase something. That way it is not that noticeable. Stash it in a safe place and NOT in a bank account. In the state I live in, it does not matter whose name the account is in because in the end the split would be 50/50 regardless. And hey if it all works out in the end then you have some cash to continue saving for a rainy day or shopping money!!

Ironically enough after Mary Beth told me that I was not alone, gave me tons of advice, held my hands and even cried with me she disappeared from my life as quickly as she came into it. Later when I could not reach her by telephone, I felt rejected all over again since I was in a sensitive emotional state. She told me she would be there for me so why couldn’t she be reached? Looking back on it now, I will never forget the support she gave me on my darkest day and I will be forever grateful. I still have that special pink poodle tissue she gave me to wipe away my tears. She made me feel good about myself that day when I needed the boost. Sometimes life is blessed with little nuggets of love. My heartfelt thanks goes out to Mary Beth for what she gave me that day.

I’M A FIGHTER!!!!!

Just for laughs.  Love this one!!

Have you ever been to a two hour mass squished on a pew with first graders?  I love to watch what they do to entertain themselves as they sit quietly waiting for mass to end.  They untie their shoes several times and sometimes tie them together, they take out their hair ribbons and eat them, pick their noses and eat it, blink their eyes over and over, have staring contests with the sixth graders and my personal favorite, clean their spectacles with their snot.

Last Wednesday’s mass was special at our school.  It is called the Ribbon Mass.  After mass has ended the 8th graders are honored as they get ready for their graduation and journey onto high school.  Fond memories of years past are remembered, a special song is sung and lots of tears are shed as parents think back just 8 years ago when they all sat in the same pews watching as their children graduated from kindergarten.  Yep, it is really cool and makes you appreciate your little ones because they will not stay little long.

My very good friend Janice has a daughter who was part of the 8th grade class this year.  Gina (Janice’s daughter) spent the majority of year writing a special song to sing at the Ribbon Mass.  It turned out beautiful.  Pictured above is Janice with her daughter Gina from last November 2007 when we all went to San Diego.  Janice has been an awesome friend and always there for me.  Janice is also a great mom.  So, hats off to you Janice and Gina!!  AND, congratulations Gina!!!  A bright future lies ahead for you and all your talents. 

I am not a supporter of Hillary’s political views.  But, I do admire her strength and ability to move on after her husband’s very public infidelity was exposed.  Speaking from experience, it is very hard to deal with it and extremely emotional.  To have it front page news world wide had to have taken it’s tole on her.  And yet she still perseveres.  Her strength and courage is inspiration for me.  This weekend I think I will make a trip to the book store to buy Hillary’s book.

As I was surfing the web today, I came across an article that reviews Hillary Clinton’s book “Living History”.  It is written by the author of the book “Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs”.  I am intrigued at the 829 promised telltale signs so, I went ahead and bought the book for $29.95.  I will give you my review on the book after it comes and I have read it.  Here is the article:

Insights on Infidelity From Hillary Clinton’s Book
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Ruth_Houston]Ruth Houston

There are nuggets of information on surviving infidelity scattered throughout Hillary Clinton’s account of the Clinton-Lewinsky affair in her book “Living History.” Of the various topics discussed in Hillary Clinton’s “Living History”, the topic that has gained the most attention is the Clinton-Lewinsky affair.   Since infidelity now affects 80% of all marriages, it’s easy to understand why.  The Clinton-Lewinsky affair continues to be a major point of interest because infidelity has reached epidemic proportions.  Women with cheating husbands identify with Mrs. Clinton and feel they can learn from her experience.”

As author of an infidelity book and former infidelity victim myself, I can attest to the fact that women struggling with issues of infidelity are eager for information that will shed light on how to cope with an extramarital affair. There are nuggets of information on surviving infidelity scattered throughout Hillary Clinton’s account of the Clinton-Lewinsky affair.  I found at least a dozen insights on infidelity that would be of interest to women whose husbands are having an affair - insights such as:

Infidelity doesn’t necessarily have to mean the end of the marriage.     A cheating husband must come clean and own up to his infidelity before the healing process can begin.     Together, the couple must address the underlying issues that may have contributed to the affair.    Both parties must be equally committed to rebuilding the marriage.    Counseling can help the couple come to terms with the affair.     The healing process takes time and both parties must be patient.

Living History” is a surprisingly rich source of information on surviving an affair.  Women will find in Hillary Clinton a role model for wives facing similar marital problems. Her candid account of the Clinton-Lewinsky affair answers many of the questions in the public mind, such as :   Why didn’t Mrs. Clinton leave her husband?  What made her decide to stay with him and keep their marriage intact?  How did she cope with the emotional trauma?  What helped her overcome the pain of betrayal?

“Living History” provides an intensely intimate look at one woman’s reaction to her husband’s affair.  By examining the factors that contributed to the survival of the Clinton marriage, perhaps other marriages can be saved. “Living History” is worthwhile reading for any woman whose husband is engaged in an extramarital affair.

© 2004 Ruth Houston All rights reserved.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Ruth Houston is the author of “Is He Cheating on You?-829 Telltale Signs.”  For more information about her book, cheating husbands or signs of infidelity visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com To receive a FREE Infidelity Report which includes a list of 29 Telltale Signs, send an e-mail to CheatingSigns.aol.com with “Infidelity Report” in the subject line.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ruth_Houston http://EzineArticles.com/?Insights-on-Infidelity-From-Hillary-Clintons-Book&id=2585

Credits for Digital Scrapbook Page
Flea Market Studio by Shabby Miss Jenn
Little Joys by Zoe Pearn

After my husband was grossly late to my birthday dinner hosted at my parents house on October 22, 2007 I knew something was up. I tried and tried to reach him. I was extremely hurt by his oh by the way happy birthday comment on his way to work that morning. I received no gift from him and no explanation of his whereabouts. When I finally did reach him he arrived at my parents house after everyone had already eaten and had the excuse of “I didn’t know anything about this”. Well, had I been able to reach him throughout the day and had he bothered to return just one of my phone calls on my birthday he would have known. But he choose to put me on ignore that day because he was otherwise occupied.

The morning of October 26, 2007 just 4 days later started out like any other day in our household. I forced myself up out of bed to prepare the lunch and snack for the girls and help get them ready for school. Once they left, I went back to bed. Exhausted and depressed. This had been my morning ritual for quite some time. But this morning was different. I had a dream. Prior to this dream I had been deeply bothered and felt like someone who I could not see was watching me all the time. In my dream there was a toddler boy with dirty blonde hair and a striped shirt and diaper on. He could not talk and he was surrounded by a very bright yellowish gold light. He had something in his hand and was pointing to it with the other. As I got closer he tried to hand it to me. It was my Verizon Wireless phone bill. At that moment I awoke gasping for air. When my breath returned, I got up and quickly looked up the last month’s cell phone bill.

As I scanned through the bill three numbers stood out. These three numbers were called frequently and at all hours. Especially during the time he rode to work and during his drive home. His text messaging far exceeded what I would call normal for a man in his late 30’s. So, with my Skype number I dialed these three numbers through my computer. I disconnected the microphone so no one could hear me on the other end. And, as my heart sank and a big pit grew in my stomach, I listened to all three voice mailbox greetings. They were all the same - they belonged to a woman named Nikki.

I immediately called Michael at work and asked him who is Nikki. His reply was “I don’t know, why?” I told him that he must know who she is because he talks to her everyday for 20 to 30 minutes at a time and calls three different numbers belonging to her. Then he said “Well, she is just a friend”. I asked him if she was someone I should be worried about and he said “maybe”. I hate the word maybe. I deserved an honest answer as his wife. I deserved better than that.

I threw up all day long. Couldn’t eat, could hardly even breathe. All I wanted to do was pick up my kids and just hug them and cry. That day was an eternity. I couldn’t wait to discuss my new found information with my husband. I picked up my kids and I did not take them to my older daughter’s soccer game as planned. I took them to my parents home so I could track down Michael and talk to him. I looked for him at work prior to the end of his shift and he was not there. Surprise, surprise. He must have gone to be with her to talk about a game plan. Of course he had an excuse as to where he was - on a field visit to some job. But I knew better.

He finally answered his phone and we talked as we both journeyed to our home that we had shared for nearly 11 years. That night we did not fight contrary to what he informed his mistress Nikki. We talked calmly and lovingly. He did not admit to having an affair. He did not admit that Nikki was more than a friend. He did ask for a divorce and I asked that we try to work things out since he had not cheated on me. I felt like we deserved a chance to work things out. The night ended very intimately and he had agreed to try to “figure” things out and “maybe” we could try to fix our marriage.

Later the next day, I checked his cell phone text messages while he was sleeping on the couch. He was texting Nikki with “I Love You” and told her that we had been in a terrible fight all night long. At that point I knew he had been lying to her all along and he of course was lying to me. I knew I had a chance at saving our marriage because he was lying to her. There entire relationship had been based on sneaking around and lies - the entire relationship was just lies. And, I knew that all the horrible things he had been saying to me and his horrible behavior towards me and the girls was only because he was living with guilt. And, if I could peel back the layers of guilt and build back our relationship, I knew I had a very big chance at saving our marriage, if I wanted to.